How to Make a Good Impression Research shows that we start to make up our minds about people within seven seconds of meeting them. Much of the communication is unspoken. Consciously or unconsciously, we show our true feelings with our eyes, faces, bodies and attitudes. At the same time, we cause in each other a chain of emotional reactions, ranging from comfort to fear. Think about some of your most memorable meetings: an introduction to your future spouse, a job interview, or an en counter with a stranger. Focus on the first seven seconds. What did you feel and think? How did you 'read' the other person, and how do you think he read you? You are the message. For 25 years I've worked with thousands of business and political leaders, show business personalities, and other men and women who want to be successful. I've helped them make persuasive presentations, answer unfriendly questions, communicate more effectively. The secret of that training has always been that you(the whole you) are the message. If you use your good qualities, other people will want to be with you and cooperate with you. The personal qualities include: physical appearance, energy, rate of speech, pitch, and tone of voice, gestures, expressiveness of eyes, and the ability to hold the interest of others. Another person will form. an impression about you based on all of these. Now recall three times in your life when you know you made a good impression. What made you successful? I'm sure of this: you were committed to what you were talking about, and you were so absorbed in the moment that you lost all self consciousness. Be yourself. Many how-to books advise you to stride into a room and show your personality to impress. They instruct you to greet others with 'power handshakes'. They tell you to fix your eyes on the other person. If you follow all this advice, you'll drive everyone crazy—including yourself. The trick is to be consistently you, at your best. The most effective people never change character from one situation to another. They're the same whether they're having an intimate conversation, addressing their garden club or being inter viewed for a job. They communicate with their whole being. The tones of their voices and their gestures completely go with their words. Public speakers, however, often send confusing signals to their audience. My favorite is the kind who say, 'Ladies and gentlemen, I’m very happy to be here', while looking at their shoes. They don't look happy. They look angry, frightening or depressed. The audience will always go with what they see over what they hear. They think, 'He's telling me he's happy, but he's not. He's not being honest.' Use your eyes. Whether you're talking to one person or one hundred, always remember to look at them. Some people start to say something while looking right at you, but, three words into the sentence, they break eye contact and look out the window. As you enter a room, move your eyes comfortably, then look directly at those in the room and smile. This demonstrates that you are at ease. Some people think entering a room full of people is like going into a lion's cage. I disagree. If I did agree, however, I am sure I wouldn't look at my feet, and I wouldn't look at the ceiling. I'd keep my eye on the lion! Smiling is important. The best type of smile and eye contact is gentle and comfortable, not forced. Listen before you leap. My father taught me the idea of 'absorbing' other people before showing myself. He said, 'Boy, you can't learn any thing when you’re talking.' I before showing myself He said, 'Boy, you can't lear anything when you're talking.' When you attend a meeting, a party or an interview, don't immediately start thr