Running after Them Doesn’t Help Anybody

Remember Newton’S Third Law

Show Some Respect for the Things They Care About

18 Years Old：The Beginning of Adulthood

Know Strength and Weakness of Your Child

Don’t Look Under the Mattress

Be Consistent When Your child becomes a teenager，you’re well over halfway through the job of raising them，and you have only a few years left to instill all those values and principles you want them to go into adult life with．And suddenly，they look as if they’re throwing away all the work you’ve put in up to now．But actually，if you just keep your head，and follow these essential teenage Rules，you’11 find you come out the other end with a terrific adult you can really be proud of． 41. Unless your child is putting themselves in serious danger，you really do have to put up with it．The more you try to tell them。the more you push them in the opposite direction．They’re looking for something to kick at，to rebel against，because they’re programmed to．The more force you use．the more they’ll use．Remember N ewton’S third law of motion?For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction．So what can you do when you see them going wrong?You can tell them what you think，but don’t tell them What to do. 42. Teenagers are up to things you don’t want to know about．For example，your daughter has gone!further than you’d like with her boyfriend．And they’ve almost certainly been offered drugs，but they won’t have any evidence of it hanging around in their room，so there’s no point looking under the mattress or reading their secret diary． And what are you going to do about it—conffont them?I think not．You’ll severely damage your relationship，and they’ll just keep them under the floorboards instead． Maybe you should think back to the things you did as a teenager that you didn’t want your parents to know about．See?Your kids are just being perfectly normal teenagers． 43. It’s one of the many paradoxes of teenagers．On the one hand，they want to rebel，to shock you，to do things that get to you，and on the other hand，they want your approval and your goodwill．So when you criticize your teenager’s choices，you criticize them．It’s an age of fragile egos and easily knocked self-esteem，and it’s easy to make your teenager feel that you disapprove．or even that you don’t like them．Whether its their music or their politics or the way they dress or their decision to become vegetarian，they need to know that it’s okay with you． 44. Yon started off with 18 Years and counting．How many have you got left?Because when you get to zero．they’ll be on their own．I know parents who are still looking after their kids when they’re 18．And the kids．not being crazy，let them do it．It takes two to play that game. You know your child’s strengths and weaknesses as well as anyone．So think through what thev still need to learn．and make sure they d0．If they’re hopeless with money，teach them to budget．Get them to do the family shopping for a week on your usual budget，or get firm about not pavingto fill up their car beyond the agreed amount． 45. Your kids need to know what is and isn’t acceptable．And they judge that by what was and wasn’t okay yesterday and the day before．If they’re not getting a consistent ruessage，they，re clueless as to how they have to behave，and those all important boundaries aren’t being properly maintained．That means the kids feel confused，insecure，and perhaps eVen unloved． If youve decided that you don’t allow the kids to stay late outside，you have to stick to it. Just because your little one was a bit sad about something today，and you’re feeling a bit down yourself anyway．．．no，no，no!Stop right there!Let them come back at once and it will be ten times harder to say no to them next time，and they won’t understand why·Say no now and you’re only being cruel to be kind． __________