For the last 30 years, I have had violent physical reactions to certain noises. Everyday sounds make me want to hide, scream and put my fingers in my 36 . I feel unreasonable 37 to people about these seemingly harmless sounds, but for me they are threatening. My body reacts in the same way as it would under 38 : I am 39 with adrenaline ( 肾上腺素 ) . I am unable to focus on anything but my _40_ . I often have to hang up on phone calls abruptly, leave my seat and walk around the room, trying to 41 the noise. My phobia ( ( 恐怖症 ) began when I was 19 and started work in a busy office. The noise of a colleague next to me who chewed gum became 42 . I tried hypnosis and cognitive behavioural therapy ( 疗法 ), but 43 . I have changed jobs numerous times, searching for the perfect 44 office. I have 45 my house, too, away from rowing neighbours. My biggest regret is that it has prevented me from having a long-term 46 . The longest I have been with someone is two years, 47 the sound of their eating, breathing became intolerable. I would sneak off ( 溜 走 ) to the spare room in the night to try to get some sleep, but it would be interpreted as a ( n ) 48 of them. I haven't ruled out love yet, though. I'm sure there is someone who could accept my 49 . It took me 30 years to realise that what I have has a name : misophonia, or hatred of 50 . When I recently discovered a support forum dedicated to it, I cried for two hours. I felt so 51 , so happy to know that other people felt like I did. I wasn’t 52 . It also gave me 53 . Some sufferers wish themselves deaf, but I don't. I love many, many sounds : the sea. 54 in the trees, music, the human voice. Time and experience have taught me that being able to hear is a beautiful thing, too important to 55 . I would never wish that away.