Divorce For every 1,000 married couples in the UK, 13 end up divorced according to statistics. Divorce is often a complicated and messy process, and throws up many pitfalls. Divorce issues Such thorny issues as whether to sell your home, which parent will look after your children, and how it will affect any loans you- may have, will all have to be resolved. And if you are divorcing your partner in Scotland rather than in England and Wales then another set of laws will apply. For many couples, obtaining a divorce has never been easier. The old-fashioned concept of establishing that 'one party is at fault' has been consigned to history and the important fact to establish now is that the relationship has 'irretrievably broken down'. In court or online? It is even possible to divorce your partner online, allowing you to save on legal costs — and according to online experts, this can save you about ￡700 from the average ￡800. However, this method is only suitable for very straightforward and uncontested divorces. Alternatively, you can apply for divorce at a county court in England and Wales, but todo this, couples must have been married for at least a year. The first stage of divorce is obtaining what is known as a 'Decree nisi (日后才生效的离婚判决书)'. This is granted if the court is satisfied the marriage has 'irretrievably broken down', and this is proven by showing one of five things: adultery (通奸行为) unreasonable behaviour desertion on the part of one partner for at least two years that the couple have been separated for two years and both spouses consent to divorce or that the couple have been separated for five yearn. Your spouse's 'unreasonable behaviour' must be so intolerable that nobody could reasonably expect you to carry on living with him or her. It could include, for example, financial recklessness, drinking, gambling, or lack of emotional support. You cannot base your divorce on this if you then live together for a period of more than six months afterwards. This rule also applies to desertion, and the discovery that adultery has taken place. The second and final stage is obtaining a 'Decree absolute' (绝对判决). The divorce can be stopped at any time until this is granted, so it is advisable to sort out all the financial and practical details first. Using a divorce lawyer If, as in the vast majority of cases, your relationship is complicated, it is advisable to seek legal advice from a reputable family law solicitor, who will be able to properly advise you about your fights and responsibilities. If you are unsure how to go about choosing a solicitor then it might be a good idea to consult the Law Society or the Family Law Solicitors Association, who keep a list of accredited lawyers. Alternatively visit the Citizen's Advice Bureau who has a great deal of information regarding such matters. What are the alternatives? Mediation is a voluntary service that allows you and your partner to meet with a trained and impartial negotiator (the mediator) to clarify the issues, discuss the available options, and reach decisions acceptable to you both. While the mediator will manage the process of negotiation, he or she is not there to promote either person's interests. The decisions are ultimately yours. You will still require the services of a solicitor to put your decisions on property or financial matters into legal form. The government is keen for people to attend mediation, and the number of people offering this service has vastly increased in the last few years. You may be required to attend mediation sessions if your divorce is funded by legal aid. For more information visit our feature on Mediation. What about the children? Divorce can be especially confusing for children, who are likely to feel bewildered by events and m