Revision Practice: Writing Concisely Directions: Rewrite the following sentences in the space provided. Your goal is to make the text as clear and concise as possible, using the strategies discussed in class, without altering the meaning of the originals. Suggested revisions are provided on the last page of this handout. 1. We would like to call your attention and to the attention of others in your office to the fact that your report is overdue because the deadline was last Friday. (31 words) 2. The document that you refer back to is not included in the sample documents that go to make up the enclosure. (22 words) 3. The purpose of this memo is to provide a reference for all your staff members of the formats of various documents that go forward by transmission to headquarters. (29 words) 4. The need for reports that have logic and are relevant is still great. (14 words) 5. Your statement in your letter that has the contention that the information submitted and sent to you by us contained certain inaccuracies and errors has prompted us to embark on a careful and thorough reevaluation of the information submitted, with the result that the original informative data has been determined to be accurate and correct in all instances and aspects of the information. (64 words)