When I was about twelve I used to visit this elderly gentleman who was a volunteer counselor ( 辅导员 ) for the Boy Scouts ( 童子军 ) . He would give us 1 until he thought we were skilled in a given subject. I did not know him long , but I 2 him for giving so much to the neighborhood , 3 when he was in poor health. One day I made an appointment with him, but I 4 about it until some three hours later. I jumped on my bike and rode 5 to his home, all the while 6 about how poorly he must think of me. His wife 7 the door and I made a(n) 8 immediately, but I could tell that something was 9 . She paused and then told me her 10 had just died. Then she apologized for not having had time to 11 me. I left her home wondering if somehow my 12 to keep the appointment had 13 him so much that he died. Some thirty years later I told this 14 to a friend. I said that though I had long since realized that my 15 had nothing to do with his 16 , I could not help wondering if I could have made a 17 had I shown up on time. My friend said that my not being there was probably meant to be , 18 the situation would have been too painful for me. Hearing her say that was like a huge wave hitting me and lifting this heavy weight I’d been 19 for years. Now whenever I think of that kind old gentleman, I think too of the 20 words of my friend.