PARENTS: Make Your Child A Winner Playing on a soccer team can be an important experience in your child's life. Participation can help your child physically and personally. However, placing your child on a soccer team does not guarantee a beneficial experience. As a parent you can help your child have a positive experience in playing soccer. The type of support you give to your child can make soccer fun and rewarding or the cause of anxiety and stress. You can motivate your child and help to develop a healthy, positive self-image. Here are some suggestions: Children play soccer to have fun. They also play to learn and improve their skills, to enjoy exciting times, to be with friends, and to stay in shape. In order to maintain or improve your child's motivation for playing soccer, find out why they like to participate and support their reasons for playing. Success in soccer is more than just winning. Young children equate winning with success and losing with failure. If children win a game, they feel good or worthy. If they lose they feel incompetent or unworthy. This attitude toward winning can be discouraging to children, unless they are always winning. One of your most important roles, therefore, is to help your child keep winning in proper perspective. Try to redefine success in terms of the actual performance or how well your child and the team played. Focusing on the performance rather than the outcome helps keep the game in perspective. Your child may also need guidance in how to deal with success. In winning, two things can happen. Long run success may come so easily that the competitive game loses its challenge. Your child may become complacent and/or arrogant. Conversely the pressure to win may result in a lack of motivation if your child dreads playing in fear of failure. Your child may not be able to perform. well and may want to quit. Give encouragement and positive support if this is the case. It is important that you assist your child in understanding their contribution to the team's overall performance. Winning is fun. Your child needs to know that striving to win is important. Being successful in soccer also means making improvements and striving to do one's best. You can help develop this winning attitude in your child by encouraging maximum effort during practices and games, rewarding their improvements in mastering skills, and supporting your child to try their best. The will to win is important but the will to prepare to win is of greater value. Losing is inevitable if your child plays soccer Your child must learn to accept themselves after a loss, this is an important part of participation in the game. Instead of finding excuses it is important for your child to understand the reasons why the team lost. Such reasons may include superior competition, too many mistakes, poor preparation to compete at this level, or maybe the players have a poor attitude. Whatever the reasons your child needs to regroup. Focus on better preparation physically and mentally for training and the next game so he/she can do better next time. This is a valuable lesson. Realistic goals will help your child. Compare current performances with past performances to determine whether your child has been successful. Your child must experience success at a level that demands his/her best effort. When your child's skill level improves they realize that effort equals success, and will feel a sense of accomplishment. Encourage skill improvements, good plays, and good behavior. Remember to praise effort-not just good performance-this will motivate your child to try hard. The best way to encourage is by praising or with physical response, a pat on the back, thumbs up, or smile. Try to avoid giving m